★★★★☆

I asked if their volcanoes were artisan and the guide blinked at me. Zero taste.

★★★☆☆

He asked if I wanted ‘the good stuff.’ I said, ‘Only if it stacks high.’ It stacked VERY high. – Gek Vendor Zhu

★★☆☆☆

Tourist thought my pet was a rare lifeform. I let him take a selfie for 16 000 units. Then I charged for pet food. – Gek Brand Manager Kek

★★★★☆

They love ‘artifacts.’ I love my pile of old broken parts. Together, we are very rich. – Gek Recycler-Lord Wip

★★☆☆☆

Here’s a tip: The real treasure isn’t in the loot. It’s the constant existential crisis. – Atlas